Group Guidelines
More coming soon….
in the interim see below for the group guidelines I like to use when facilitating a sacred circle for women:
Sacred Circle Basics
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
~ Excerpt from Wild Geese by Mary Oliver
When sharing and listening please keep in mind Mary Oliver’s words. Let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Allow yourself to be fully present. Honour yourself and each other by remembering that circle time is sacred. Try always to keep in mind that as we enter the circle we step outside of time and enter a place of great mystery. Never underestimate the power of the circle. It can and will change you if you choose to enter.
Here are a few guidelines offered as suggestions to ensure that safety is maintained for all:
1. When listening try to give the woman who is speaking your full attention. It is an honour and a privilege to witness another’s journey. Your focused attention will assist whoever is speaking to follow what William Stafford refers to as their “thread. We all have one….
The Way It Is
There’s a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn’t change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can’t get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.
You don’t ever let go of the thread.
~ William Stafford
2. Value the differences. If you disagree with what a woman is saying remember it is her truth and try to honour that. Stay with her as she unravels her truth.
3. Do not offer advice, or attempt to heal or convert another. Trust in the wisdom of each woman as she negotiates the waters of her own emotions and inner life. Know that no matter how it looks she is the expert of her own life.
4. When sharing take care to only share what you are comfortable sharing and be sure to voice your needs. If you have shared intimately you may need a hug or you may need some space. If you would prefer to leave what you say in the circle and do not want woman to discuss it with you afterwards please say so when you are sharing. It is okay to just let it go into the circle; to allow the sharing to be the healing. It is not unusual to need time to contemplate or sit with what comes up in circle. Discussing it prematurely can interrupt your process as there are times that input from others muddies the waters. Please let the group know what your needs are.
5. This is a scent-free circle. Out of respect for those who have allergies or breathing problems such as asthma please do not wear perfumes or strongly scented lotions. We recognize that this may be something that you like to do for yourself and that you are giving something up. We honour you for doing so.
6. Be mindful of the confidential nature of what is shared in circle. The mystery and the magic is kept alive by keeping what is said in circle private. When we honour the sacredness of the circle our respect for ourselves and each other deepens.
7. Do take a few moments to prepare yourself before entering the circle. In some traditions before entering sacred space one takes a luxurious bath and adorns themselves with beautiful clothing and jewelry. While you may not have the time or the inclination to do this do take a moment to clear the day. Be prepared to hold the rim of the circle. Keep in mind that it is not the sole responsibility of the facilitator to ensure the circle is a sanctuary. We all contribute to the energy of the circle.
Namaste
Jonina Kirton
www.sacredcirclesbook.com